Learning to Live Fully: Creating a New Relationship with Anxiety

Lorraine Irlam, Registered Clinical Counsellor
Jun 9
3 min read

Action Anxiety Day - June 10th 2025

Did you know you can change your relationship to anxiety?

A woman wearing blue leggings and a blue t-shirt walking her small white dog along a seawall with a coffee in hand looking happy.

If you’re reading this, you might know all too well what it’s like to have anxiety running the show. Maybe you’ve turned down opportunities, avoided situations, or spent hours trying to think your way out of anxious spirals. Maybe anxiety has convinced you that it’s keeping you safe—when really, it’s been keeping you small.

I get it. Anxiety is loud, persistent, and incredibly convincing. And if you’ve tried everything from deep breathing to distraction and still feel stuck, you’re not alone. As a therapist who works with people struggling with anxiety, I want you to know: there is another way—one that isn’t about eliminating anxiety, but about changing your relationship with it.

A pink cherry blossom tree in bloom in spring, looking up at a blue sky.

You Don't Have to Wait for Anxiety to Disappear

One of the most painful myths anxiety tells us is this: “You can’t start living until I go away.”

But what if anxiety doesn’t need to go away for you to begin living the life you want?

That’s where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) come in. These aren’t quick fixes, but powerful tools to help you stop running from anxiety—and start moving toward what truly matters.

In ACT...

We learn how to unhook from anxious thoughts instead of wrestling with them.
We practice making space for discomfort instead of trying to control it.
And most importantly, we begin to reconnect with the parts of life that light us up —relationships, creativity, purpose, freedom.

ERP teaches us...

To gently face the fears we’ve been avoiding, without performing all the rituals and safety behaviours we’ve leaned on to feel okay. It’s not easy work, but it’s liberating. Because with every small act of courage, we send a new message to our brains: “I can feel anxious… and still do what matters.”

Small Steps, Big Shifts

Change doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful.

It might look like sitting with uncertainty for an extra minute, sending the email you've been avoiding, or taking a walk even when your mind is racing. These quiet wins add up to a freer, fuller, and more meaningful life.

As your therapist, I’m not here to “fix” you—because you’re not broken. I’m here to walk beside you as you learn how to listen differently to anxiety. To help you build trust in yourself, even when your nervous system is sounding the alarm.

You're Allowed to Want More

An older couple embracing and smiling into the camera at a rocky beach.

If anxiety has been dictating your days, I want you to know that help is available—and that healing doesn’t mean never feeling anxious again. It means anxiety no longer gets to make your decisions for you.

You can still feel afraid and choose to move forward. You can feel uncertain and still take the leap. You can feel anxious and still live a meaningful, vibrant, beautifully imperfect life.

You’re allowed to want more—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Ready to Start Your Journey?

I offer therapy for anxiety rooted in compassion, courage, and evidence-based care. Reach out when you're ready—I'm here when you are.

Check out this special guest post by Angie L, a Certified Yoga Therapist, who works with individuals experiencing anxiety!

References

Abramowitz, J. S., Deacon, B. J., & Whiteside, S. P. (2019). Exposure therapy for anxiety: Principles and practice (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.

Forsyth, J. P., & Eifert, G. H. (2016). The mindfulness and acceptance workbook for anxiety: A guide to breaking free from anxiety, phobias, and worry using acceptance and commitment therapy (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2011). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.

National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (2011). Generalised anxiety disorder and panic disorder in adults: Management (Clinical guideline) CG113). https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg113

Twohig, M. P., & Levin, M. E. (2017). Acceptance and commitment therapy as a treatment for anxiety and depression: A review. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 40(4), 751–770. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psc.2017.08.009

Looking for support with your anxiety? Book a free 15-minute phone consultation - your opportunity to learn more about one-on-one sessions for anxiety and/or CBT for insomnia (CBT-I).